“Some people think George is weird, because he has sideburns behind his ears. I think George is weird, because he has false teeth with braces on them"

Quote by Stephen Write, quote copy and pasted by Stacey George. I'm just going throw this out there, no secrets, no hiding behind closet doors, and no more avoiding smiling into the sun for fear of a glimmering effect that could potentially blind someone. I have to stand up and face the challenges in my life and take them like a man. I am ready to be proud of who I am and accept my differences.

I did not have a lonely childhood or anything like that. I was raised as an American girl with good values and morals. But that's not good enough in this country, everyone must suffer a dark day so that they may appreciate the good days. Well, I'm going to share with you my most recent dark day. It all began on a beautiful Monday morning. Yep, Monday, who doesn't love Mondays?? I awoke with the reminder that I used my teeth quite often whether it be to eat, smile, or bite a mugger. So to have them be anything less than perfect was unacceptable. Of course, my biggest front tooth was steadily turning like that of a revolving door. Only coming back to its regularly scheduled position was not an option.

All of these thoughts were streaming through my brain as I realized that I must prepare for battle; a battle of wits. I had an orthodontist appointment to have braces put on. What would people say? What would they think? Would I get glittery rubber bands?

I arrived to my appointment late, scared, and my zipper down. Could my zipper have been a sign that having braces is like having your zipper down 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I was in no way ready for this. I was of course the oldest person in the waiting room except for the parents of the other patients, and I felt the urge to yell out some childish name like Spot or Agnes. Thinking that this would alert the room that I was there with my children, for I was clearly not the one getting braces. Unfortunately, that was just a dream as I sat reading Highlights and thanking my lucky stars that I could now make my own bird puppet!

Alas, my name was called. I stood up as if I had won an award for best waiting in the waiting room. Doom rose over my toes and up to my head, this was it. No turning back now and unless I planed on modeling for Operation Smile, I was never going to have my big break in this condition.

The procedure went smoothly and for the rest of the day I dealt with bleeding and swollen cheeks due to the wires cutting up everything that got in their way. Relentless little wires, "I hate you!', I told them every chance I got. They did not care that they were ruining my life! Fortunately, my boyfriend was very supportive throughout my treacherous ordeal. He even bought me Oral Wax. HEY, it's to stop the wires from dissecting my mouth. Anyway, after much pain and sadness, I became more ALIVE than ever!

I now know that it's not the braces that make the person, it's the person that makes the braces. On the bright side, my boyfriend says he barely even notices them and of course I believe him. I think my sister Ashley is jealous and wishes she had them first. And as I smiled like an 8 year old during the big reveal to my dad, he smiled back with a smile I have not seen since I was 8. I think it took him back to yester year. Yep, that confirmed it, no bars were letting me in. I mean, nowhere on my drivers license does it state my new handicap!

At this point, I knew my new journey was about to begin. Was I going to set off the metal dectectors at the airports? Where kids going to pour their slushies on me from the balcony at the mall?

I will keep you posted on how things go with my new found accessories. And remember, if you are an adult with braces, you are not alone. But don't expect anyone to think you have started a new trend...this is a delusional thought that gets you nowhere.

Work..."I think I will go home, Im a bit bored."

And so it begins! Or is it ending? I find myself staring at walls a lot lately wondering how long it will be before they start to crumble around me. Some people might have their own opinions of my dramatic expression, however, it could not be any closer to the truth.

I graduated from college with the anticipation of being the worlds next Oprah. The trouble with such high aspirations is the brutal reality that I would have been better off following in the footsteps of Gary Busey. I'm not an alcoholic or a drug user and my teeth dont exactly resemble that of a clydsedale, but I just think that might have been a much better start.

After college one would hope that the fortune 500 companies would build an extra wing just for you if thats what it took to get you to wear one of their company shirts. Unfortunately and shockingly, about 1 million other students just graduated also. Leaving me with the notion that until I invent the next snuggie, I might actually have to find a regular job where no one respects the fact that I got an "A" on my English paper or that I made friends with the night janitor at the library because of my late night study sessions!

So thats what I did, I got a real job working as a legal assistant at a law firm. I had a lovely view of the top level of the parking garage and I could almost see the highway. It's the little things at really make Mondays enjoyable, ya know? Anyway,have any of you ever met a person that had the ability to make even the Virgin Mary want to throw them off the top floor of that parking garage? Well that was my boss. Who would have thought that my first real job would teach me the lesson of a lifetime...WORKING SUCKS!

No test, teacher, seminar, or pamphlet could have prepared me for a world full of people that completely disagreed with me on what I thought was a fair paycheck. Apparently my negotiation skills were and are still lacking. I have yet to find a job that suits the lifstyle I feel I have earned and modeling agencies still think that 5'2" is not tall enough! "For God's sake", I told them, "we have a black president...things have changed!"

I sit here now pondering my next move. Do I move my king? Is my last chance to show the world that I have no idea how to play chess but I'm really good at making analogies. All I know is that I have bills to pay and recycling my diploma will only get me about 2 cents.

Please send all donations for the EDNA Foundation directly to me! The sheer genius of Embezzleing Donations Needs Applause!